unsuspecting new moon
by MarthaD
Summary: What if Bella decided to run away in new moon? will Jacob be able to change her mind? will she see Edward again? or will she run into some vampires?....E
1. Chapter1 Misery, what else?

*DISCLAMER**- I DON'T OWN ANYTHING! ALL RIGHTS TO STEPHANIE MEYER!* **

**I was going through different emotions and different pains. I lay on my bed starring up at the ceiling pointlessly not really even starring at it, since my mind was somewhere else. Just like everything had become pointless and a blur to me since…**

**I couldn't bare to even think about it. I couldn't even bear to even think about thinking about it. Ugh. I sounded like an overdramatic teen who just broke up with her boyfriend. Who they thought they truly loved. But at least sooner or later they would realize and would move on and find someone else… **

**For me, I knew I truly loved… And here came the pain again. I rolled over to one side clutching my chest with one fist. I cried in agony begging for the pain to stay away. While the new burst of tears came, I realized I had the dried ones down my checks. **

**I couldn't decide if I should, or kind of already did a little, hate him because of this. But he wasn't to blame. I knew we didn't belong. I didn't deserve him, and he was to good for me.**

**I once thought when life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it's not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end. But then again…why bother enjoying the dream if its just going to be taken away? I guess that just life for you, doing what its known for sometimes. But I still was thankful even though my conflicting theory's.**

**Then I herd my dad call me from downstairs. That saved me. Knowing I had to push it away and save it for later and now I had to be strong for Charlie.**

*** * * ***

**That day didn't get any better. My insanity was released and proved everyone right. They all knew I was suffering even though I thought I was doing a good job putting on a happy face. I had fooled no one. Maybe it was because I never actually smiled.**

**I didn't even care or think abut what I did. But when I herd Charlie talk about it and found out how much it scared them and hurt tem. Of course it scared them! As I remembered what happened saw the scene through my eyes for the first time realizing that wasn't me! It even scared **_**me! **_

**I never acted out of control like that before! I couldn't even remember the last time I was that furious! Or the last time my lungs yelled that loud! I never knew they could go that loud! And it wasn't even fair to take it out on them! What did they do? I looked over to my computer. My poor aged computer laying broken. The poor furniture. I took out on everything and none of it had a fault. I felt so guilty. Even for the inanimate objects. **

**I wasn't mad at my family or anyone else. I knew why I was mad, more then mad, outright furious! More then that even! I couldn't even think of a word! Just thinking about it made me feel the pain. **

**I realized it then! I had to get out of there. I had to. Just to leave and go. Anywhere. **

**Maybe I would just dig up a hole and let the pain take me. Couldn't be worse then this. To hut Charlie and Renée and Jacob! Putting them in danger?! That did it. I packed my bag and threw it out the window. I started sticking one leg out thinking it couldn't be that far down. Then I looked down to be careful how I landed. When I noticed, yes. Yes it could be that far down. **

**I started pulling my leg back in. When I felt a strong grip helping me by shoving my leg back in. **

"**Oh!'' I cried.**

"**Are you crazy?" he said without any sympathy for my leg.**

_**Probably. **_**I thought.**

"**I need a ride."**

"**What?" Jacob said.**

"**Will two rides. Different rides actually. One on your back to your house to your car, and the other in your car."**

**He looked at me for a moment like I had answered him yes to his first question. His eyebrows where wrinkled in a v shape.**

"**What?" h**

**He still asked confused.**

"**I need to get out of here," I paused for a moment "its not safe." I tried to explain.**

**Finally the v shape lifted a little in understanding. But he still didn't budge. So the v was now sort of a u shape, since it lifted a little. **

"**Bella," he began, trying to soothe me by speaking calmly. But at the same time he sounded like he was trying really hard to make me hear him. Make me understand. " if you think she could possibly even touch you while we're around, then I feel so offended that you still don't have much faith in us. Were werewolves and strong ones at that. You've seen and know what we can do. You have nothing to worry about.-"**

**I cut him off, "Jacob-" but he cut me off.**

"**No Bella! Shut-up! We can do this! I can do this! Were strong too! I'm strong! Just as good as... better then-"**

**I blinked my eyes trying to clear my head suspecting what he was going to say. I cut him of trying to make **_**him**_** understand and forget to finish the speech I didn't wan to hear. **

"**Jacob, if I new she wasn't a danger to Charlie, Renée and you all and it was just me she wanted to kill I would of…" **_**I would of gone to find her along time ago and let her take me out of my misery.**_** Happily. I would of added, but I didn't dare finish because I knew he wouldn't let it go. He would just start a whole other speech trying to convince me and then it would lead to him trying to convince me of other things I didn't want to hear. Or deal with right now. I had enough to think about and worry and he wasn't helping.**

"**I can take care of that too!…I mean we can!"**

**Then he started back to window about to leave. Then he turned around and pointed a finger at me.**

"**And your lucky I don't tell Sam you don't think were strong enough to do take care of just one vampire! He would have been so offended, poor guy. He'd probably be so offended he might have let you're a** die! And then we have another problem on our hands to resolve as I didn't have enough." he said as he walked back to the window.**

"**And watch out next time where you dumb your bag! You could knock someone out that way! Ouch." he said as he rubbed his head.**

"**Sorry" I muttered.**

**I had crossed my arms against my chest protectively. My eyes flickering down while he talked. I noticed how much he said "I". I knew what he really meant. He was trying to prove he was good enough. Comparing him self to- **

**I held myself tighter and squinted my eyes chanting in my head, **_**no no no go away go away,**_** I pleaded.**

**I knew this weren't the hands I wanted to hold me together. I didn't want to think about this anymore. I needed to get out of here.**

"**Jacob!" I called quickly. He was already outside the window starting to climbing down. He looked up. All I could see was his head. His eyes were wide and his eyebrows were raised up in curiosity. Probably hoping I wanted him to stay with me. I felt bad.**

"**Are you gonna give me a ride or what?" I asked. **

**In a blink in of an eye his v shaped brows were back and a furious face to match.**

"**NO!" he yelled.**

**Then from the other room I could hear Charlie's snores gone and a thump.**

"**Oh! Now you've done it!" I almost yelled. He didn't care. He went on. **

"**I'VE TOLD YOU I CAN DO THIS! IM BETTER! WHY CANT YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?…WHY CANT I BE GOOD ENUGH FOR YOU? WHY CANT WE JUST…" **

**I couldn't listen to this anymore. And I herd a second thump. Charlie was probably just putting on his boots on slowly and half asleep. I rushed over to Jacob hoping to be quick and strong enough, that he didn't even know what was coming. I felt bad but I knew he would be okay and he said he was strong, right? So this wouldn't even hurt. I pushed him as hard as I could on his shoulders. Hoping he would fall back. Then I could shut the window, run back to my bed in time and play it off I was asleep before Charlie got to the door.**

**His eyes didn't shift from my face to see what was I doing. He grabbed on tight to my arms. Still staring at me. He was mad I could tell by his cold stair on my face.**

"**LET GO JACOB!" **

**He kept his eyes locked on me for a moment longer then he disappeared. I closed my window and pretty much flew to my bed. Just in time I controlled my breathing, when Charlie checked on me and then closed the door and went back to his room. It wasn't long till he started snoring again.**

**I didn't get up. I stayed laying down, not wanting to get up and fight with Jacob again. So I took the moment to think about exactly what I was going to do. Obviously Jacob wasn't going to help. At least not easily. I just hoped he wouldn't tell Charlie in the morning. He probably would now that I think about it. I guess that meant I had to leave tonight. I didn't know how but I defiantly didn't know what to do after. I just knew I wanted death. Wow, they were right. I was insane. These were the times I thought to hate him and consider it his fault. I cringed at the pain that stung at the moment I thought of him. That pain brought me the idea again how I had to leave tonight and get away. For my family to be safe. All of my family. Including the wolves. That was the best reason I had for leaving to argue with Jacob about this. And afterwards I guess I would just enjoy my last days. I wasn't afraid of death. Right now it was the only friend that I had that would give me what I wanted…**

**I jumped out of bed and threw open the window. I thought abut this quickly. I knew Jacob was out there , I could already feel his gaze on me. So I decided to just jump out quickly knowing he would catch me. Then I would just start running to his house to get his car, no doubt arguing him there all the way. He wasn't gonna carry me there so I would just have to do that part myself.**

**I began to climb out then thinking what if was in his wolf form and couldn't phase fast enough to catch me? So I decided to give him a head start.**

"**Catch me! And be ready!" I called. "1, 2,…" I counted hoping he would be ready by 3.**

**Then I let my self fall closing my eyes. I didn't hear **_**his **_**voice since I knew I wasn't in much danger. And if I died from falling, will then at least I didn't have to go far to find what I wanted.**

**Jacobs arms caught me and wrapped them selves around me. These weren't the hands I wanted to hold me either, but they would do.**

"**Are you crazy?" Jacob whispered struggling to not raise his voice. **

"**Jacob, I think by know you should know the answer to **_**that**_**!" I hissed. I even realized it by now.**

**What else would you call a person who wasn't afraid of death? I looked around at the darkness. **

"**Where's my bag?" I asked. He didn't reply and he was still holding be bridal style. I looked up at him. He was starring at my face, probably still confused. He was about to start. I knew it.**

"**Before you start, you said you had to many problems. If I left so would Victoria. Then none of you would have to take a chance of being hurt or bother taking care of me or Charlie. And then all the vampires would be gone."**

**He stared at me for a while. I wondered what he could be thinking.**

"**And where would you go? Huh? To go find him?" He finally asked.**

"**No I actually thought about thinking going some where south. Where its sunny. And I would like to see the ocean before…" I stopped, hoping he wouldn't catch on. There was a short pause.**

"**Bella my biggest problem would be losing you. And I would trade having all of these problems then having to worry about to lose you. "**

"**I think I will tell Charlie good bye in the morning and then go to live with my mom for a while, then leave and go south." I decided. Jacob frowned at me.**

"**Did you even hear me?" he said getting mad.**

**I ignored him and changed my plans.**

"**Fine, I'll stay and have a fun week with Charlie and my friends. Ill teach him how to cook and then I'll go leave with Renée till schools over and ill take the time to think about the whole death thing. I'll move to somewhere down south near the ocean and think about it some more while I enjoy the sun are you happy?"**

**That did sound like a good idea to him kinda sorta but I don't know if I can go that long suffering. Maybe I'll just move over there then runaway.**

"**I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU BELLA. DON'T YOU HEAR ME?"**

**I didn't **_**want**_** to hear him! I didn't **_**want**_** to hear that he was in love with me!**

"_**YES**_** JACOB! AND I **_**WANT**_** YOU TO **_**SHUTUP**_**!" Then he dropped me. I fell to the ground making and "ouf" sound. **

"**IF I WAS PALE WHITE, COLD, GREW FANGS, AND WANTED TO KILL YOU, THEN LEFT, THEN WOULD YOU LOVE ME?"**

"**If you had a sudden urge to change who you are, Jacob, I would still love you, just not the way you mean it!"**

**There was a silence. My hand felt something beside me, it was my bag. I clutched it and started getting up. I stood up holding my bag. I wasn't sure what to do next. Should I stay? Or should I just start walking now? I looked over to Jacob. **

**He was looking at me thoughtfully. He was leaning to one side, then shifted his weight to his other leg and looked down, when he met my gaze. I wasn't sure what he would allow me to do. **

**He might be to mad and not help me back up to my room if I decided to stay. I could easily threaten to just leave now if he didn't help me. **

**And if I started walking away to go on with my first plan to just leave then he would surely stop me. But I could just argue while we walked till he gave in. ugh. This was what I hated. I loved Jacob and his easy going nature but to get what I wanted we would argue a lot lately. Everything would have to be a debate. Nobody gave me what I wanted.**

**Thats when I finally decided to just stay the extra week with Charlie. I was to tired to start walking or bicker with Jacob. And I wouldn't be able to take his keys if he wouldn't drive me himself. I looked over to my truck, for the first time I cursed it for having such a noisy engine that would wake Charlie so easily and give away my escape plan. **

"**Help me back up to my room." I demanded calmly.**

"**No! Do it your self!" he was mad, I knew it. "So Charlie can find you out here and maybe talk you out of running away and maybe he'll finally do something about you!"**

"**About me?" I was about to cut him off from talking but that last part took me by surprise. "What do you mean about me?"**

"**Nothing, forget it. I don't feel like talking about your little trance. Here climb on my back and ill help back up." he sounded frustrated and tired. I could tell he didn't want to talk anymore, but I didn't care about that right now after what he said.**

"**Trance?"**

**He sighed tired like and just pulled me on his back himself. He leaped up and pulled my window open jumped in and set me down. Then he turned back to the window to leave.**

"**What did you mean by trance?"**

**He paused then sighed . But he didn't turn. "Nothing."**

" **I know what your saying. I know I haven't been myself lately- "**

"**Your dang right you haven't!" he finally turned. "And I didn't want to start arguing again! And its because of **_**him **_**your hurting yourself and everyone else! AND YOU **_**STILL LOVE HIM!**_**"**

**I wrapped my arms protectively trying t hold my self together.**

**He rolled his eyes at me and turned back to the window and muttered something under his breath as he went.**

"**I know I'm hurting everyone and I'm not happy about it."**

**He threw his arm in the air then just waved away like waving away whatever he was going to say.**

**And then he left.**

"**That'll be another problem you wont have to worry about when I'm gone. I wont be hurting anyone anymore. Neither myself." I said quietly to myself.**

*** * * * ***

"**Cause I wont let it." **

**I spun to see his face that I hadn't seen I n what seemed years but at the same time looked so familiar like I had just seen him yesterday."**

"**Edward-" I struggled to say the name, my voice broke as I said it.**

**He starred at me for a moment.**

"**Hello Bella" he said calmly as he approached me.**


	2. Chapter 2

I froze.

My mind was in shock and panic.

Something in the back in my head was saying this is wrong, something about this seems wrong.

But I couldn't get out of the thought that _he_ was _here_.

"Bella"

My breathing was going faster, I couldn't believe he was here but I could see him standing right in front of me.

"Bella, you cant go killing yourself."

That's how I knew it must be a dream. One of my realistic daydreams. But this time I could see him now instead of just hearing him.

This was going too far.

I knew he didn't care about me. Why would he come back and start trying to stop me from killing myself?

This was going too far, it was only going to make my pain worse later thinking he cared for me or seeing mirages of him.

I walked away from him and started packing more clothing.

"What are you doing? You cant leave." I herd his voice say from behind me. Why wasn't my mirage disappearing? I turned around. He was a foot away from me, his eyes starring intensely at my face. He came closer.

"Why aren't you disappearing?" I began to rub the side of my forehead with one hand.

He laughed his beautiful laugh. This wasn't going to be painful when he disappeared.

"Bella, this isn't a dream."

"Yes it is. It's a beautiful dream that will never come true and is only going to hurt bad at the end when its over." I said then turned back to keep packing. I don't think I could stand one more week here, I had to leave and stop the misery. And I had to do it fast.

"Will then is this a dream too?" I wasn't sure what he was talking about but before I could turn around, a pale whit hand touched my hand.

I flinched away from its coldness.

I gasped and turned to face him, rubbing my hand. A chill when through me from his cold touch. That was way to real for me have to imagined.

But I still wouldn't let myself believe.

"When I close my eyes you will be gone."

I closed my eyes but I could still feel his intense glair on my face. I was still holding on to this dream. That's why I could still feel his presence. My mind didn't want to let it go. But I knew I had to for my own good.

And when I opened my eyes…

He was gone.

* * * * *

I stayed for a week and a half. Hoping Jacob would lose suspicion. He didn't. I didn't want to stay the rest of the week, in fear that _he_ would show up again. When I was alone I was afraid to hear his voice, knowing what it would do to me. I was now afraid to think about him.

I spended a lot of time with friends and Charlie. The next day after that night, when Charlie came home and he asked what's for dinner, I told him for him to tell me. He was surprised when he looked at me confused. Because I had an apron in one hand waiting for him. Every night since then I would teach him how to cook his dinner, helping him. He was getting better, learning from each mistake he made. That's only because he was making a lot of mistakes.

Except tonight I made him dinner giving him a break. He asked me at dinner why was I teaching him to cook. I simply answered when I was gone he wouldn't know how to cook and would go back to his unhealthy diet. So I decided I should teach him how so he wouldn't have to rely on the Dinner or fast food all the time.

He didn't know what I meant when I said when _I was gone_. He started to talk to me about college, thinking that's what I was meant. I simply answered "Mmhmm." And let him keep talking.

I called my mom every night, and told her bye and I love her so much no matter what, like it was my last time speaking to her.

Everyone was surprised by my happiness and friendliness at first. But know they were used to it. And mike started to get his hopes up again.

Tonight I began to pack again, only leaving some clothe in my closet to use for the rest of the week.

that's when I herd something outside my window.

"Come in, Jacob." I said only loud enough he would hear and not Charlie. I quickly hid my bag under my bed so he wouldn't see.

But no one came in.

I walked over to my window, starting to wonder why he didn't answer, then began to worry.

"Jacob?" I called again as I approached my window.

I looked out to the darkness and couldn't see anything. I bent down and got closer peering my eyes through, trying to see something.

What I saw frightened me bad. I almost screamed.

I saw a pair of two red eyes starring back at me from behind the window. And the light coming from my bedroom threw a little flash of light, enough that I could see it reflect on her brilliant red glowing hair blowing around with the wind.

I would have been happy to see her if I was alone. I would have welcomed her in happily if Charlie wasn't here. It would only mean I was getting what I wanted sooner.

I ran down stairs, covering my scream with my hand. I picked up the phone and dialed Jacobs number.

"Hello?"

"Billy! Is Jacob there?"

"No, he's out with his friends."

"Who's keeping watch at my house?"

"I think Quil, why?"

"She's here. I saw her!"

"Ill try to find the boys for you."

"Okay hurry, Charlie's here and I don't want him to get hurt."

"Stay inside." Then he hung up.

Like that will help, she could bust the door open if she wanted.

I hung up and went to check on Charlie. He was watching the game. I wasn't sure what to do now. My mind was in panic. I went to the closet and grabbed the crow bar. Some good this would do me, but I could try. I thought maybe me and him could hurry in his car and drive of to Billy's. But Victoria could catch us to easily.

I dropped the crow bar on the ground, I let myself fall to the ground. I sat there crying, covering my head with my hands and hiding my face into my arms.

"Bella? What going on? What was that? Did you break something?" I paid Charlie no attention.

I let myself break.

He was gone. There was no one to protect me. Charlie was in danger. There was nothing I could do. And I was only human. There was nothing I could do in this world I had been brought into, and now Charlie was being dragged into it and there wasn't anything I could do to protect him.

I remembered the third wife. Jacob told me bunch of the stories. Of his tribe. Was there something I could do to stop Victoria like the third wife?

I got up and ran to my window. I didn't realize I was having trouble running because the heavy crow bar was still in my hand. I dropped it as I entered my room. Leaving it behind.

I threw my window open and stuck my head out.

"Victoria!" I cried as loud as I could. Charlie wouldn't hear me with the volume all the way up on the TV because the game.

I stood there waiting, breathing hard trying to catch my breath. I tried again.

I stuck my hands out and yelled again.

"Just take me already! Its over!" Just let it be over. Just let it be over. Was the only thought on my mind.

Then I saw her. She was crouching on a branch on Charlie's tree.

I stretched my hand out farther to her.

"Take me." I waited a second.

"I give up just f-ing kill me already. I don't care."

Her eyebrows deepened. She didn't believe me very well.

"Don't hesitate! Hurry up! The wolfs are coming soon." I said looking down hoping they weren't already here.

I started trying to climb out. Then I herd a wolf howl in the distance.

"_All great_." I muttered under my breath.

"Listen Victoria, I want my death as bad as you." She looked at me wide eyed.

"I'll meet you somewhere soon. Then you can just do the job for me. Ill leave you a note under the tree for you. Leave now before the wolfs kill you. Or then ill have to do the job myself and that will be harder."

She looked at me a moment longer with wide eyes suspiciously. Then left after another wolf howl coming closer.

I closed my window. I laid down on my bed and closed my eyes in contentment. Soon I would get what I wanted.

Please Review.

Tell me what you think. Say it nicely please. Tell me if I made any mistakes or if there is anything I should clear up. Thanks=J

***DISCLAIMER-I don't own Twilight or any of the Characters. All rights to STEPHANIE MEYER (She rocks!=J)**


	3. Chapter 3

When I awoke the next morning, it was bright and early. And I am serious, it was bright. I woke up blinded by the sunlight coming through my window. For a moment I wished I was waking up back in my bedroom in Phoniex and the past year was just a dream but no, it was just a rare sunny day in Forks, Washington, an anomaly. I laid there for a moment trying to let myself believe that but deep down I was afraid for all of it to only have been a dream. Before letting myself think to far I got up.

I quickly got stationary paper and a pencil fom my desk and began to write. Then I headed outside to leave the letter hidden under the tree, forgetting to check if Charlie was even gone yet. He caught me in the hallway on the way back up to my room.

"Your up early." He noted as he paused spotting me.

Seeing his face and hearing his voice hit me hard. I began to realize what I was doing, something a crazy person would do. I guess I just had to get use to it, that I was crazy.

This was going to hurt Charlie but I didn't dwell on that. It was also going to keep him safe and the

wolfs too. Soon Victoria would be gone and never return.

So that convinced me to follow through with my plan. It drove me away from being close to sanity.

Anyone looking in on the situation would surely say I was insane.

"Yeah I guess I am." I said, talking more to myself then to Charlie.

"Okay, so do you have plans with Jake?" Charlie woke me from my revire.

"Yup." I quickly answered anything, reentering my room. I closed my door to start getting ready. I would

have to avoid Charlie it would only make me hurt knowing what I would do to him. I grabbed another

letter and began to write to Jake, explaining everything.

In my letter to Victoria I told her I would run away to Olympia where she could meet me and I

would give her what she wanted, my death. And I warned her as long as she didn't come back to

Forks, the wolves would not hurt her. I knew she was terrified of them by the look in her eyes when she

herd them howl. At least that would keep her away from here and keep Charlie safe.

I told Jake about my plan and to not worry about me, I told him just to watch after Charlie no matter what

and my mom if she came anywhere too close to here if she visited Charlie. I didn't metion all my plan. Just

the part to lure Victoria from here and I didn't mention anything about the death part. That would surely set

him of. But I knew he would still suspect it, since I never mentioned anything about me coming back. So he

would probably just come after me anyways. I didn't want him anywhere near Victoria.

I tried to think fast. If I left now he would surely know, he probably be here soon to see me because after last night, he probably caught Victoria's scent, he would come to warn me.

If I left tonight, they would still be here watching me. What could I do? I had to be in Olympia by tomorrow night.

That's when I herd a knock on the door. I hid the note for know and when to answer the door. It was Jacob. He told me about the scent so close to my window. I kind of ignored what he said trying to think of someway to get away and set up the story.

"Can we go to Seattle tonight?"

"Seattle?"

"Please there is some shopping I need to do and we could let the pack work in peace trying to find her while were in Seattle. She probably wont even notice." I tried to lie and make it seem like nothing.

"Bella, I don't think we can just escape her, I'm pretty sure she is watching our every step."

"Will we can head to Seattle and the pack can follow a few miles behind and if she came anywhere close they could catch her."

What was I saying? If they caught here then that screwed up my whole plan. Wait, what am I thinking? If they did catch her she would be gone. I wouldn't have to hurt Charlie but then the wolves could get hurt. And I would still be in pain. I was screwing up my plan trying to set up my story.

"Bye kids. Bella, I'll be working late tonight so can just leave me something in the fridge I can warm up later?" Charlie said as headed to the door.

"Sure Charlie." I answered. I got up and started to make him a dinner I could put in the fridge for him. I began to make his favorite and tried really hard to make it good. This would be his last meal from me.

"So can we go tonight?" I asked.

"Why not just after you are done here?"

"Because I got some chores I have to do today." I said. "Can we leave at six?"

He stayed quiet. I began to get scared he caught on. I kept cooking.

"Yeah okay. We can go to Seattle but I'm not sure about the whole catch Victoria plan, it would take a lot of planning to do something like that. But you have a good idea there. We should try luring her in then catch here. I'm gonna go talk to Sam about that. I'll be here by six." He finally spoke.

"I'll see you later Jake."

"Bye Bells." He said as he left.

I cooked all Charlie's favorites and literally made them with love. Then I wrote all the recipes to everything I could think of and made step by step instructions. I wrote lots of rules to remind him about things when cooking. Like what you are allowed and not allowed to put in the microwave. By the time I finished I could have published it into a cook book. I put it on the counter hoping he would find it. Then I cleaned the house from top to bottom. I would leave him with a shining house.

When I looked at the clock it was almost six. I went up stairs and started looking up busses to Olympia from Seattle and holtels in Olympia I could stay in for the mean time while I waited for the next day. But the computer was going slower then ever. I had to pick it up of the floor where I had pushed of to from the desk it sat on. I shuddered remembering that day I let out my anger. I was surprised the thing still worked even though it had a dent and the window screen was cracked. It was tilting to one side. I felt bad for it.

I began to finish packing fresh clothe for the next day and tring to finish up Jake's letter. My mind was full of stress. Rethinking my plans, the possibility's of it back firing, the hurt I was causing them. that's what kept me going with the plan, how I was putting them all in danger.

And to top it all of, _his_ voice was screaming at me. Telling me I had gone insane. _Gee, there is something new. _I thought to myself. He was yelling at me not to do it.

Their that was another reason for me doing this if not the main reason. Jacob would surely think _he_ was the main reason I was doing this. The real reason I went to go find my death, he would think it was only because the pain Edward caused me.

Him screaming at me the loudest he ever had, it was really getting annoying. Annoying because it was like his voice was yelling at me right in my ear. And it was un annoying because it was his voice, his beautiful voice that was still like velvet even thought it was furious.

I couldn't take it anymore. All this stress and him screaming made me go crazy.

"_WOULD YOU JUST SHUTUP!" _I yelled at the top of my lungs at him as I turned behind me to yell at him. But he wasn't there. The voice disappeared and what ever presence there was of him that I felt, was gone too. What if it was silenced forever? That scared me.

I was surprised at my guts to scream at him. I never would have thought I would scream at him. I finally had gone insane. Screaming at someone who wasn't even here and never would come back. I turned back around breathing hard and continued packing. Listening, incase his voice came back. I tried to keep my tears back.

That's when I herd something. Then it went away. I considered it nothing and kept packing. Then I herd it again. Like something rustleing outside my window. I began to fear it was Victoria, I didn't want her this closeto my home, too close to Charlie and the pack. I quickly turned around and saw nothing from the window where I stood. I was about to turn around to start with the letter again when I herd something again.

This time louder roustling of branches.

"Ouch! Stupid branches!" I herd someone say, I couldn't make out the voice but it sounded like a familiar beautiful voice.

I ran to the window and threw it open. I saw a blond head of hair raise up with two beautiful light orange surprised wide eyes look up at me.

She untangled her self from the tree's branches and jumped in through my window in a flash. I backed away. Then she brushed of her outfit while muttering. "Stupid sharp branches. They ruin your outfit and your perfect hair."

She looked up at me. "Hi Bella." She said in an unsure voice and then looked around the room. "Who were you yelling at?"

I was stunned. I couldn't answer. But her question awoke me from my shock. She looked back at me when I didn't answer.

"R-Rosalie?" I asked in mere shock.

"In the flesh. Will.. Cold hard flesh but yeah.. Its me." she answered.

"Where you packing?" she asked and eyed something from behind me. I looked back hesitating. Then I saw my bag tipping over. I went to go catch it before it spilled my stuff.

"Where you going?" She asked

"No where." I quickly lied.

"What happened to your computer?" she said eyeing the poor damaged thing. Then I spotted the note and quickly snatched it before she could read what it said from where she stood and find out.

"Whats that?" She asked.

"Nothing." I quickly changed the conversation.

"Wha-What are _you _doing here?" I asked in disbelief. Of all the Cullens, Rosalie was here.

Her eyes quickly changed to surprise. I had caught her off guard.

"Will…" she said stepping forward.

"Please hurry I'm kind of in a rush." I said surprising myself.

"Why? Where are you going?"

"Um.." I hid the note behind me as she got closer.

"Whats that in your hand?" She was catching on I was up to something I didn't want her to know.

"Are you running away?" She said looking back up to my face and searching for any lies in my expression.

I laughed ackwardly looking down. "No Rosalie, I'm not running away." I the scary truth was what I was running to.

"Then please explain. I hope im not interrupting anything important but I'm sorry, I have to take you.''

"I was going to Seattle with Jacob-" I began to answer, then her words hit me. "Wait.. Take me where?"

"Sorry Bella, but I cant put up with him anymore." Then she grabbed me and we flew out the window. My backpack and the note where still in my hands. I let go of the note and let it fall to the forest ground not far from my backyard. I would hope Jacob would find it.

Everything was blurry, I knew we had arrived because we stopped moving and my nauseia paused for a moment then came back. I saw darkness and a little bit of light coming from a house.

"You don't look good." I herd her say. "You better not vomit on me…"

I closed my eyes and let out a small chuckle at her words. My eyes were closed and I was half unconscious.

I could feel us moving again.

"Good job Rosalie! I cant believe you had it in you!" I her someone say eagerly. But I couldn't really tell who said it or what was going on.

"I only did it cause I was tired of him."

"He is going to kill you." I herd a different voice say.

"He will thank me later."

"Sure if he doesn't murder you first." he replied.

I felt my body land on something and I let out an "ouf" noise.

"You think Carlisle will change her now?"

I tried to listen and be aware of what was going on and I tried to calm my tension and get up but I couldn't. I felt aw wave of calm hit me as I tried to open my eyes. I saw a handsome young boy with short blond hair appear as I tried to keep my eyes open, looking down at me, who I could only recognize as Jasper. For a moment he looked surprised with wide eyes then his pained expression returned. Then I let my eyes close and let the unconsiousness take me.

The Cullen's POV

Rosalie

The stupid branches were annoying the crap out of me. They kept poking at me. I was trying hard not to let them touch my hair but twigs and leafs kept getting tangled in it. And the branches kept getting hooked on my outfit. The window flew open and I saw Bella's wide eyes where starring at me in shock.

Busted.

I was hoping to just take her as she slept. But that plan was obviously sunk.

I got out of the tree awkwardly and entered through the window. Then in relief brushed myself off.

I greeted her not sure what to say. Then looked around to see who I would have to explain to about my presence and strange entering through the window. But there was no one there. Only her starring at me wide eyed. I swear I herd her speaking with someone.

"Who were you yelling at?" I asked bewildered.

She starred at me in the same position, she hadn't moved an inch. I began to fear for her mental health.

"R-Rosalie?" She asked in disbelief.

"In the flesh. Will.. Cold hard flesh but yeah.. Its me." I said sheepishly.

I noticed her backpack was open with clothe sticking out of it and beginning to tip over. I gladly took it as a distraction from her asking me what I was doing here.

"Where you packing?" I asked. She turned around reluctantly, like she was afraid I would disappear if she looked away. Then she quickly caught the bag before it fell over.

"Where you going?" I asked curiously, hoping I hadn't interrupted any important plans of hers.

"No where." She rushed to answer. that's when I noticed that poor excuse for a computer looking worse then ever.

"What happened to your computer?" I got closer to look at the piece of junk. I wondered if it even worked anymore.

Then she quickly snatched a paper from the desk near where I was standing.

"What's that?"

"Nothing." She was quick to disregard it.

"Wha-What are _you _doing here?" She asked, pulling the conversation to where I didn't want it to go. The way she said the question offended me, but I knew not to take it personally, she was just surprised it was me who was here, she remembered my un-friendliness to her.

"Will…" I began. Shoot! I wish she hadn't asked. I wasn't sure how to answer.

The truth is I was tired of watching Edward moping around the place. Leaving then never coming back for days, hurting Esme and the rest of the family. And her being gone had everyone missing her. It pissed me off. No I want jealous. Will, to be truthful I was a little. But I felt more sympathy of what was going on then jealousy of attention. It was getting so annoying, I couldn't take it anymore.

But what I could I say? How could I tell her this?

_I'm sick of my brother and I'm taking you back to him? _Oh wow, that really was going to do it.

"Please hurry I'm kind of in a rush." Her rudeness surprised me. She had always been nice and polite. Even to me as I avoided her. She must have changed. all humans change as time goes by, physically and their personality.

"Why? Where are you going?" I asked curiously again.

"Um.." She hid the paper behind her as she hesitated to answer.

"What's that in your hand?" she was acting strange, had I really caught her in a bad time? Or was rudeness part of her change as we left. Then I began to realize it. That paper she was hiding could possibly be a good bye note, could she really be running away?

"Are you running away?" I eyed her, looking for changes. Edward had once said they all change a lot as they grow. I only began to note she was thinner. I had noticed she looked different just didn't realize what was different. Her hair was longer and she seemed prettier, more mature, but she still looked young, very young. If we were to change her now, she could still fit in to high school with us.

She chuckled at my question. "No Rosalie, I'm not running away." I guess I had been wrong, but there was something in her words that made me feel as if I was missing out on an inside joke.

"Then please explain. I hope I'm not interrupting anything important but I'm sorry, I have to take you.''

I finally decided to follow through with what I was here to do.

"I was going to Seattle with Jacob-Wait.. Take me where?" She began to answer before I could finish.

"Sorry Bella, but I cant put up with him anymore." Then I hastily picked her up and headed to our home in Olympia. She still had her backpack in her hand. At least she would have some fresh clothe.

As we arrived at our house I set her down. I wasn't sure if she had fallen asleep. I took a good look at her to check on her.

"You don't look good." She looked sick and tired. "You better not vomit on me…" She only weakly chuckled at my words.

Then I lifted her again and headed inside the house. I couldn't wait to put her down. She smelled funny. Her house and all around it smelled like dog. Werewolf dog. It was only a hint of the scent but around her house it was stronger. She always found the closest danger around her, she must have not changed that much.

Alice and Emmet were waiting for me. Alice must have had a vision. She congratulated me as I entered the house, clapping her hands and jumping up and down trying to hold in her squeal.

"I only did it cause I was tired of him." I said but I couldn't hide I enjoyed the appreciation and praise from her.

"He is going to kill you." Emmet said, ruining my good mood.

"He will thank me later." Which I knew he would after giving me hell.

"Sure if he doesn't murder you first." He replied.

I let her go putting her on the sofa.

She made an "Ouf" noise as I let her land on the sofa.

"You think Carlisle will change her now?" I asked. Knowing Edward would only start off with _"This is taking away her future, bla, bla, bla."_ But if we just changed her now he couldn't be able to complain much since there was nothing he could do now.

I did feel bad taking her humanity, knowing how much I wished I still had mine. But she did once wish for this.

I laid on the lounging chair watching her fall asleep thinking about this.

"Are you crazy Rose?" Emmet started. "You know he will only make you take her back!" I glared at him letting him know to shut it. He wasn't giving me much support.

That's when Jasper walked in. he was probably going to be the tattle-tell to Carlisle. Alice and Emmet would be on my side and Esme would surely join, but when it came down to the argument I still think there small opposing group would win. Especially with yelling Edward on there side. He was going to go ballistic at me, I could only imagine how much more his anger would hike once he read my mind for the rest of my plan I had in mind. What did I just get myself into?

Jasper walked in surprised then looked at Bella and his eyes grew wide. He must have calmed her and put her to sleep. Because he half whispered half tried to yell at us.

"What is she doing here?" He hissed.

He looked down at her then back at us.

"What the hell is going on?"

We all looked at him with wide eyes. We were in trouble. He could see we were all in on it. Then he looked at his wife but Alice's eyes were only on Bella now. She went to kneel by her as she slept trying to gently shake her awake with a big excited smile on her face. With her size and her wide grin she looked like a child during Christmas. Too bad this was one gift for my brother that he was going to have me return.

"Don't wake her." Jasper warned. "She is tired."

I looked up to Emmet to see if he was still against what I did, even though I knew he would still take my side in the awaiting argument.

He was starring at Bella with a hint of a grin on his face. He must be thinking about writing on her face as she slept.

Then Carlisle entered after Jasper with Esme behind him a moment later.

He took one look at the sleeping human on the couch and then eyed us, looking for the guilty.

"What's going on?"

Esme eyed her as well with no expression on her face.

"Edwards almost here, who is the one is going to explain this to him?" Carlisle asked in an almost panicked tone, which was surprising. "Because I am not going to be the one to tell him this story. Please don't drag me into this."

Emmet laughed, even Carlisle was afraid of Edward's reaction.

"Sweet Bella." Esme murmured, then she leaned down next to Alice and they hugged each other. They petted Bella like she was a precious lost dog.

"Edward is almost here, Alice had a vision he would be back today." Carlisle informed us.

"I'll stall him." Emmet said. Then Jasper was about to follow him.

"No, no, no, no. you stay here we are going to need your help." He said to Jasper.

"You to Emmet, stay here. You will probably just let it slip in your mind and tease him which will only provoke him and that is the last thing we need. Alice can you try to stall him? "

Alice looked up at him sadly.

"Why me? I don't want to leave Bella."

"You are the best at hiding things from him."

"Fine. But what are you going to do?" She asked.

"I don't know yet."

Then she left.

"Rosalie, do you think you can take her back?"

"Why? This will be good for him. He cant mope around for the rest of his life!"

"She has a point." Emmet spoke from beside me.

That's when Alice appeared beside him again, entering from the front door.

"He is on to me. Now he is going to skip finishing up hinting to come see what's going on. But he doesn't predict it being this bad."

"Will he is about to be wrong." Emmet said.

That's when we herd him outside. He was coming towards the back door. The whole room got tense. Emmet reacted quickly. He grabbed a blanket and through it completely over Bella.

Esme was still kneeling beside her and petting her check. She was to preoccupied with Bella she didn't notice Edward approaching or enter the room.

"Emmet!" She scowled, then pulled the blanket completely off. "You cant hide her!"

She said right as Edward walked in. He looked up and his always somber expression turned to curiosity.

He looked at all of us, because we all just stared at him. Then we all unconsciously turned to see Bella because we knew that where his attention would fall. He followed our stairs. And his eyes finally landed on Bella sleeping. His mouth opened slightly in shock and he held back words he was about to say. Only a small soundless gasp left his lips.

Esme looked behind her seeing her shocked sons face, probably wishing she had gone with Emmet's plan and left the blanket on her to hide her instead.

It was quiet for a long moment as he just stared at her. We were all tense knowing soon he would start to yell at us. Most likely me.

"Rosalie, I think you better run." Emmet snickered. My mouth dropped. Edward turned to me.

I turned around to look at my idiot of a husband then I smacked the back of his head. _"Emmet!"_

"Ow!" He cried. "What?!"

"You just sold me out! What do you mean '_what?!' ? _You had to open your big mouth?!" I yelled and scolded at him.

I was afraid to turn back to look at Edward. But I did anyways to be ready to duck when he attacked me. But his face was blank.

Carlisle stepped in front of him.

"Before you start yelling, remember you will wake Bella." Carlisle warned.

Edward looked at him then looked at all of us and then right back at Bella and there his eyes stayed.

Please Review.

Tell me what you think. Say it nicely please. Tell me if I made any mistakes or if there is anything I should clear up. Thanks=J

And please go to my profile and read my other stories.

***DISCLAIMER-I don't own Twilight or any of the Characters. All rights to STEPHANIE MEYER (She rocks!=J)**


	4. Chapter 4

**I began to awake, gaining awareness. I could hear voices faintly but I finally started to remember what happened the past day and finally realized my eyes were closed. I opened them and saw the room I was in for the first time because I had passed out I didn't know my surroundings. I looked around seeing the beautiful well decorated room, seeing I was alone. I could hear people in the next room talking and they sounded like they were arguing. I saw my backpack on the floor beside me. I grabbed it a slowly but rushing quietly went out through the front door. **

**I couldn't stay any longer and wait to see Edward who would just retell me how much he didn't love me. That would be a breaking point. I didn't want t handle that. I didn't know why Rosalie of all people brang me here but I didn't want to stick around to find out.**

**I started walking faster as I exited the door hoping they wouldn't realize I was gone and come after me. I walked a few blocks hastily looking back every few steps. I sat down at a bus stop. I didn't know where I was but I was eager to just get to Olympia. **

**I couldn't believe I had just escaped a house of vampires with them not knowing. Ha, so much for Vampires special hearing.**

**An elderly old man sat beside me.**

"**Excuse me, what city is this?" I asked dumbfounded.**

"**Um, Olympia." He answered, surprised by my question.**

"**Really?" I was surprised. "Olympia, Washington?"**

"**Yes Ma'am."**

**I smiled. Will at least that saved me the trouble of having to ditch Jake with him not catching me. I took out my map and planned my travel through the city. When the bus got here I got in quickly as possible, scared cold white hands would get me first. **

**I planed to meet Victoria tonight in the forest. It wouldn't be hard for her to come and find me.**

**I kept walking deeper and deeper into the forest. I sat down on a log after I felt like I couldn't walk any farther and stayed sitting there for what felt like hours.**

**I herd some moving, something getting closer. I was afraid but yet relived. Thinking it was Victoria, I was happy and relived but yet upset I would never see Edward ever again. Rethinking I should have stayed at least to see his face one more time.**

**Then Jacob walked out of the trees ending the noise that had my stomach in a knot and my mind dizzy. In a way I was upset but yet relived. **

"**Jacob?" He looked furious. **

**He walked up to me and grabbed me by the arm and pulled me away muttering under his breath.**

"**God, I cant believe this!"**

**I was in trouble. I didn't dare to speak to him right now not even to apologize because I knew anything I said was going to break him into an mad outburst at me.**

"**I'm glad your lying improved." He finally spoke to me on our way back home with out being a quiet mutter to himself.**

"**That way you can lie to Charlie convincingly that you just got lost in the forest again." He continued. **

**I was relived he had finally spoken to me. That meant the argument was soon to come but I knew things would get better after that, hopefully.**

"**How did you find me?"**

"**I smelt her outside your window and in your room. Then I was following your scent when the pack called and said they found Victoria. And before they killed her-" There went my easy way out. "-she told them you were waiting for her outside f Olympia. Then I came to get you." He finished.**

**I wanted to ask who he meant by smelt. Was it Victoria or Rosalie? If it was Rosalie scent he recognized then that would be what he was truly mad about. I didn't dare to ask though.**

**When we were arriving back home, we got out and started walking through the forest to make it seem that is where Jacob had found me. And before we arrived at the house he paused, picked up a handful of dirt and threw at me. I took it just standing there calmly.**

"**What was that for?" Not that I didn't deserve it but it surprised me. I could see why he might feel like throwing something at me after what I did, but dirt? I guess it was safest thing he could think of to throw at me with out really hurting me.**

"**To make look like you really did get lost in the forest." He said with a scowl before turning around and began walking.**

**Then he paused and did it again, this time right in my face.**

**I closed my eyes as I felt the wet soil hit my face.**

"**I think that's enough Jacob." I said restrained leaving my eyes closed in annoyment.**

"**That one was just for my enjoyment." He said after a moment of watching me with angered eyes.**

"**I kind of figured that." I said as I began to follow him again.**

**Then he muttered some more.**

"**Why don't you just say it loud enough so I can hear you." I said.**

"**I don't know what for. You'll just ignore every word I say. You wont even care."**

"**I don't ignore you when you speak." I said.**

"**When it comes to this topic you don't."**

**I didn't want to continue the conversation, knowing where it would lead. I knew he would bring up how he felt for me and I would just push him away because of **_**him**_** and he knew it. It made him mad what **_**his**_** absence was doing to me and I still wanted **_**him**_** more then him. I wondered what he even saw in me. I was a horrible person for putting him and the pack through this and the pack. For putting them all in danger, but it wasn't just my fault, it was **_**his**_** too, for dragging me into all of this.**

**When we got home Charlie called of the search party. I was surprised there was one. Jacob explained things calmly. He didn't really show any emotion, he was still mad. Charlie noticed his somber expression. Jake just told him he was tired but I knew he was upset.**

**When he left he didn't even say goodbye, even when I tried to say bye.**

**Before I could get to bed and escape to my room, Charlie gave me a talk that ended with yelling. But hugged me before I went off to bed, he was just happy to have me back home.**

**I laid in bed on one side thinking. If I hadn't left their house I could have seen him today. But if I had stayed I would have been more broken then I already am, if that's even possible. And when I went to meet Victoria, she wouldn't have been there to put me out of my misery. The wolves would have already gotten her.**

**So where was I left now? What would I do? Just go on with life and suffer? There was no reason for me to go of and die now since there was no danger. Victoria and Laurent were dead. I had no good excuse to die. If I killed myself I would only hurt them all. So I guess my plan now was to just suffer. **

**I closed my eyes and let myself drift away in sleep. Hoping I wouldn't have to suffer and feel like this for the rest of my life but something told me it wasn't going to get any better.**

**Weeks passed and Jacob hadn't talked to me. The next day after I returned everyone was glad I was okay and greeting me when they saw me in town but they were all suspicious about my disappearance. They all thought it had something to do with Edward. And they were right. They knew I was trying to runaway.**

**After weeks with out Jacob ands hearing wolfs howl out my window still even though there was no danger made me feel more and more guilty. He must have told the pack to keep watching over me. Probably mostly because he thought I would try to kill myself again. But not this time. I wondered if it was ever Jacob out there watching over our house. But I couldn't go out to find out and see since Charlie was more overprotective now and sometimes entered my room at night to check up on me. I knew he did because I had a lot of sleepless nights and had nothing better to do but lay there in sadness.**

**I finally decided to call Jacob. When someone answered and I recognized his husky voice saying hello, my first words were "I'm sorry."**

"**No, your not."**

"**Yes, I am." I began to wonder if the reason he was still mad was because he did recognize Rosalie's scent as one of the Cullen's and thought they would be back and I would run straight to them when they did. But I knew better, they were never coming back. I wasn't sure why Rosalie took me or what was she thinking but I guess they let it go because I never herd a word from them. I still feel that strong eager of curiosity to know why she did take me. **

"**Jake you recognized one f the Cullen's scents at my house didn't you?"**

**He was silent.**

"**Is that why your mad?"**

**More silence.**

"**Will I hope you know your wrong, because their not coming back."**

**There was a pause then he finally spoke.**

"**Did you talk with them. Did you see him?"**

"**No. Will.. I saw Rosalie and Jasper then I passed out. But that's it, I didn't stay awake long enough to talk to them or see the rest"**

**He laughed. That calmed me and made me smile.**

"**You passed out? Why did you pass out?" he said, recognizing my weakness of always seeming to be a dazzle in distress. It was to predictable and comical he didn't realize something like that might have happened.**

"**I was tired."**

"**And…you went with her? I smelt your scents together." He said a bit more mad now. Accusing.**

"**I didn't decide to go with her. She took me."**

"**She took you?" he said still not believing completely. **

"**Yeah but I sneaked out and left before they could talk to me again after I awoke."**

"**So you did decide to meet Victoria and run off to be killed?"**

"**Yeah but I had a good reason…"**

"**No Bella, the real reason was because of **_**him**_**."**

"**I admit that was part of it. But you can call the pack off. There not coming for me, they would have done so by now and I'm not going to kill myself without a good reason too. Don't worry, I wont try to kill myself because of him. I know that would hurt Charlie. And what would be the point for the pack risking them selves defending me and killing Victoria making things safe again if I still went off to kill myself? I only did it the first time because I had a good reason, I would give Victoria what she wanted and she wouldn't have reasons for coming back here."**

**He was silent for a moment thinking over what I said.**

"**Do you forgive me? You must know there not coming back. I ran from them, I think they took it as a clue I don't want them to come back. I'm sure they would have done so by now if they were."**

"**You **_**don't**_** want them to come back?"**

"**What would it matter?" I they did, its not like Edward would want me, I wouldn't bother. I could only wonder why would they come back? And why did Rosalie take me? Maybe they changed there diet and decided to eat the person who knew their secret. I shuddered at that thought. I couldn't ever imagine them doing that. Will…Jasper they take a bite at me but that was because he still wasn't fully used to their diet.**

"_**What would it matter?" **_**His disbelief and surprise interrupted my thoughts.**

"**Weren't you the one moping over them and now it **_**wouldn't matter **_**to you if they came back?" He asked in confusion and disbelief.**

"**I don't want to dwell on that anymore. I'm retrying to get over them and move on. If I can."**

**I whispered the last part. **

**He stayed silent again, thinking about what I said. **

**I realized that Jacob would be part of me moving on. Helping me forget. He would be the better decision. I knew he would keep me happy. And I knew he loved me too. But I couldn't help but to doubt that he would leave me too someday like Edward did. **

"**I don't want to be stupid anymore, I want to move on." I hope he understood what I was saying.**

"**Good luck with that." he said not understanding the double meaning.**

"**You don't believe in me."**

"**No, but I'll help you. I don't think you can ever fully get over him but I know you can do a lot better then you are right now. I've seen it before."**

"**Thanks Jacob.'' I said sincerely before hanging up.**

**That night Charlie had to work late. They were still a bit freaked about the wolves even though there hadn't been a killing or a sighting of them in weeks but after he herd them howl a few times he was trying to be prepared. **

**I felt bad I couldn't tell him that it was the wolves, the werewolves, that stopped the killings by killing the vampire who was really the one who was doing all the murdering. But I don't think I could ever tell that to Charlie with out him thinking I was crazy which I was but it was scary I was dead right in this situation.**

**I began to wonder how all humanity went on with there daily lives never knowing the creatures in there imaginations existed. The things in there wildest dreams had a chance of actually walking the same earth as them and have been since who knows how long. They were in our same world and we didn't even know it. A little girl could be scared at night of the dark afraid of monsters her mom probably telling her there is no such things but there could actually be a blood thirsty vampire hiding outside her window.**

**I felt guilty knowing the hidden dangers in the world that no one ever knew existed and there was nothing I could do about it. I just didn't seem fair they were not warned and so many murders that were realistically just a case of blood thirsty vampires. The world would never seem to know.**

**I closed my eyes trying to banish the thought from my mind. I tried to think of what to do now. I could only keep living and suffer the pain with out them here. They were like my family. But at least I knew I had Jacob. He loved me. I loved him too. I just didn't know if it was enough, but I would try and give it a chance. With out feeling like I was betraying **_**him**_**.**

**I couldn't sleep and I refused to lie in bed with out even being tired. I walked outside having nothing else to do. I knew it was safe now.**

**I walked around feeling the good breeze. Only light that shone came from the moon, it looked awfully eerie to me. I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes, in an attempt to relax. A noise interrupted my thoughts. I turned my head quickly to where it came from. I gasped.**

**I saw a figure standing just a few steps out from the forest. The moon reflected her skin beautifully, making it shine as white as the moon. I felt fear building in me.**

**The short pixie figure was familiar to me at once…**

"**Alice?" I felt fear all right, but I wasn't sure why. Maybe it was the scene. The way she looked in the moonlight, I looked odd. But I knew better then to be afraid of Alice, even if she was a vampire.**

"**Hello Bella." She said calmly as she waked towards me swiftly. Like a graceful swan. I was used to her graceful walk but I feared it as she came close. Then I herd more bustling of leaves. I turned to see something fall from a tree. It landed with a thump.**

"**Rosalie!" A familiar voice whined.**

"**Huh." Someone huffed in annoyance, "Shut up, Emmet." A beautiful voice said that I only knew as Rosalie's. She dropped from the tree landing gracefully on her feet. They all looked mysterious in the moonlight and the dark. Except for Emmet who just looked like a fool because his own wife pushed him out of the tree. I couldn't see their faces well, but for some reason I felt fear of them.**

"**What do you want?" I said, wondering if they could hear the shakiness in my voice. I didn't sound like a voice with a grudge against them like it should have but more scared and defensive.**

**I looked towards Alice who I had last seen coming closer to me. She only stood a foot away from me with a sly smile on her face. They stayed quiet. I stared at Alice wondering what she was up too. I knew her too well.**

"**We came to check up on you Bella." she finally spoke.**

"**Check up on me?" I asked in confusion.**

"**You weren't actually suppose to see us but Emmet screwed that up." Rosalie said in a sour tone and then turned to glare at her husband. And he turned to glare right back at her from where he sat on the forest floor.**

"**You're the one who pushed me!" he said in annoyance. Even Emmet's funny ways couldn't ease my fear.**

**I looked back at Alice. She still wore her smile.**

"**You can come out now Jasper. Don't be scared." A second later he steeped out from the trees stiffly. He didn't come any closer and kept his distance. I stared at him warily. He must still not be completely used to his diet.**

**She starred at him smiling then turned back to stare at me.**

"**Its good to see you made it home okay. How are you?"**

"**I'm fine." I said defensively with a bit of acid in my tone. My hands grew into fist and my fist tightened.**

**I felt calmness starting to seep in. I flashed my sight to Jasper, knowing what he was doing. He shifted his weight awkwardly, seeing my stare, he knew I knew what he was doing.**

"**Gee's, Calm down Bella." Emmet said.**

**I turned my glare to him. And he shut his mouth at once. **

**I crossed my arms at Alice and waited politely for her to finish.**

"**We just wanted to know how you were doing."**

"**Will I'm fine, Alice." I growled. Jasper groaned. He didn't like me being unfriendly to his wife.**

"**Will know you seen. Are we done here?" I asked.**

**I suddenly wished I was different, I wished I was stronger.**

"**I told you she got bossier." Rosalie noted.**

**Alice eyed me. "You thinner." She said in disbelief.**

**I rolled my eyes. What did that matter?**

"**And your hair's longer." Emmet noted.**

"**And your attitudes bigger." Rosalie chuckled.**

**I sighed loudly. This wasn't going anywhere I didn't feel like wasting my time with them.**

**I turned to walk away.**

"**Bella!" Alice called, whining at my rudeness.**

"**What?, Alice!." I raised my voice. I turned around halfway to see her.**

**Her eyes were wider and searching my expression. Her mouth was slightly opened and her head was tilted to one side in bewilderment.**

**I just narrowed my eyes at her, hoping she got the message.**

**She pulled her head back up at my motion. She caught what I meant.**

**But in the back of my mind I really wished I did hate them, but the truth was it was only hurting me to see them. I wished I could be a stronger Bella, a Bella they didn't know as weak and clumsy,**

**I turned away and began walking.**

"**So what?" Emmet called after me. "You run with werewolves now?"**

**I kept walking. It surprised me but I didn't react to his comment.**

**They all seemed speechless. "Don't you even want to know why I kidnapped you?" Rosalie finally spoke.**

"**I don't know. I'm not sure if I even care." I responded.**

"**Rosalie shut up." Emmet hissed at her in hushed tones, warning her to not say something. That caught my interest. I stooped.**

"**Why Rosalie? Did you get hungry?"**

**Emmet chuckled.**

"**You know we don't eat humans." She said icily. I was getting to her.**

"**Hush Rosalie." Emmet warned her to speak no further. I turned to see Alice's expression. She was starring at me still in awe with hurt eyes.**

"**What aren't you telling me?" I said stern.**

"**Way to go Emmet." Rosalie said.**

"**You're the one who brought it up and asked!" He tossed back.**

**I took a deep breath. There bickering was annoying. And none of them were getting to the point.**

**I sighed loudly again. "I don't feel like putting up with this. I don't really care." I said turning away.**

"**Bella wait." I was surprised to hear him speak.**

**I didn't expect Jasper to dare speak. He didn't seem to want to even be in this conversation, but he finally spoke.**

"**Yes, Jasper? Are we finally getting to the point?"**

**He seemed hesitant. He looked around him hoping one of siblings would take the stage and explain. But he got no luck.**

"**Rosalie took you thinking that would solve everything that's been going on at home." he paused.**

**I starred, waiting for him to continue, because so far nothing made sense yet.**

"**She meant well. Will, partly she meant well." He paused trying to think how to explain, he sighed, not knowing how to continue.**

"**Don't worry, I know what you meant by partly. She does things for herself at times. Continue…"**

**Rosalie groaned at the turn of the conversation about her.**

"**She thought that would solve everything. But she didn't think the plan the whole way through. And I guess we all seemed to think it was a good plan and kind off all ended up her on the same mission to finish the plan. But we didn't know we were all doing it at the same time."**

**I was still confused.**

"**Keep going." I said. "I still don't understand a word of it." shaking my head slightly.**

**He sighed again. "We all came back secretly to check on you and try to take you on our own. We didn't know that all of us were doing it at the same time. Not knowing we all had the same plan in mind. We were all kind of surprised to find each other here with the same plan." **

**he laughed at the end and they all joined in.**

"**Okay, I get that you all had the same plan in mind and ended up finding each other here doing the same thing. But what was the plan exactly? And the purpose behind it?" I said a bit impatient, hoping to get to the point.**

"**Will…" he hesitated.**

"**We were all planning to check up on you, then take you to stop the madness at home. Everyone's been sad lately that your not here and we were planning to fix that."**

"**I'm confused again. Are you trying to say you all missed me?"**

"**Yes Bella! Tons!" Alice exclaimed. Trying hard to show how much she meant it.**

**I eyed them all for a moment. It was silent as they waited for me to speak. I eyed their hopeful smiles and could only think of one word to say…**

"**Bullshit!"**

**There faces fell. I turned once again to walk away.**

"**What! You don't believe us?" Emmet said.**

**Alice blocked my path. This angered me.**

"**Bella! Why?"**

"**Especially Edward. He missed you the most and-" Jasper continued.**

"**Yeah!" Emmet interrupted, agreeing enthusiastically. "He is like zombie emo Edward now or something!"**

"**Truthfully Bella, it is just sad." Rosalie agreed, nodding her head.**

"**More bullshit!" I said.**

**Why would they lie to me and make me feel like this? Hadn't they hurt me enough? What did they want?**

"**Move out of my way Alice!" I yelled. I looked into her eyes angrily.**

**She only stared at me with sadness in hers. That knocked me down. For a moment the guilt washed over me. I could see I was hurting her. For a moment I couldn't hear the complains coming from Rosalie, Jasper and Emmet. They were faded out as I stared into Alice's eyes. Only for a second, then I pulled my face of anger back on. Because I realized I had nothing to feel guilty about.**

**What did they want from me? I had nothing to give. I was suffering in pain and they were making it worse lying. I couldn't stand it, I needed to be strong to walk away from them, try to stop loving them, or else the pain would take me right here**

**Alice still stood very close to me, that it felt uncomfortable, it made my fear I had earlier slowly come back. They had all shut up and were watching Alice and me. **

**Her eyes seemed to glisten. They were tears that would never spill. I felt sad for her. It made all the fear I had earlier go away. I couldn't find a trace of fear now.**

**It made me more mad! She had no reason to be the one wanting to cry! I was the one who was suffering! Then slowly I started to think what did they want? I must have something to fear.**

"**He loves you Bella!" she finally spoke, I swore it seemed like her eyes were trying to tell me something important I needed to understand but her words made no sense.**

"**We all came her wanting to change you so that way we wouldn't have to suffer without you anymore. It would just solve everything. So please let us…" I was blanking through half her words not comprehending anything, I was still shocked how she dared lie about him loving me. Before she could finish her last sentence, she was reaching out to grab my arm and hold my hand but I flinched at her touch.**

**She seemed hurt by my reaction. Her lips shook like she was blubbering but then she pressed her lips together tightly, holding it in.**

**I looked her in the eyes, they looked like puppy eyes. An wrongfully abused puppy that had been kicked and was sitting at the curve of the street alone and hurt. **

**But I didn't believe any of it.**

"**Leave!" I said fiercely in her face then walked around her. I herd her mumble what sounded like **

"**Please Bella." In a dry sob. But I kept going and this time they didn't follow.**

**then I walked away. I didn't want them to leave but I didn't want to admit it, it wouldn't help me try to forget them.**

**I walked inside and went straight to my room and this time they didn't follow.**

**I wanted to let myself fall face first unto my bed and try hard to hold in any tears. I almost didn't make it past the front door. After I closed it behind me, I was about to fall to the floor against the door but I caught myself before I could reach the floor. I stood up and headed to my room. I held my hand over my mouth trying not to let out a single shutter or blubber from my tears that were fighting my eyelids to come out.**

**I almost tripped at my door and again I helped myself up. I was going to be strong. I wasn't going to let any of this bother me any longer. But yet I couldn't help but to head to my window to check if they were gone.**

**I peeked from the corner trying to hide behind the yellow curtain. The first thing I saw were Jaspers still golden eyes on my face. They were full of curiosity, expectance, suspicion, and mostly accusing. They were hard to escape. His hand was on Alice's back, comforting her. Alice's face was burrowed into Rosalie's shoulder and Rosalie rubbed her back whispering into her ear. Emmett to had his hand on her back and looked at her sadly.**

**Then Rosalie stopped whispering and looked up at me. Her eyes turned from understanding to cold. She almost seemed to want to hiss at me but then she seemed to think better of it and clamed her features and just starred at me, expectantly. Then Emmet to had turned my way and gave me a cold disappointed stare and then looked at me like expecting something too. I looked back to Jasper, bewildered. I narrowed my eyes at him. I had thought through the reason they would be here and could only come up with one theory. I turned away from my window.**

**Stupid Vampires. I tried to make myself hate them. And when the slightest guilt came to me I pushed it away thinking how I was very justified to hate them.**

**Finally I made it to my bed and I half tripped and fell into it. But I landed face first into my pillow like I wanted. I squeezed my eyes shut. Fighting the tears and held my mouth shut. **

**I thought again about my theory. I thought about what Alice had said. They wanted to change me? Or was that part of the lie? Did they really just want a taste of my blood? They were vampires after all. They probably just wanted to take care of the one person who knew there secret and have a fun time doing it, probably taking a break from there vegetarian diet. They used there lie about Edward as an excuse so I would let them touch me. They must have lied that Edward loved me and they wanted to change me so I could let them bite me. They were trying to take advantage of my vulnerability, they knew I loved him and wanted to change and be one of them. But that was the past. And they didn't need an excuse with there strength and speed. They could have killed me there on the spot, did they really have to torture me by lying like that? Hurting me more, because I knew the un likeliness of Edward ever wanting me.**

**If my theory was right then why weren't they already attacking me? Why was Alice still out there like she was hurt by my words? What was with there stares? I could tell they were disgusted and disappointed by my behavior by I hope they got use to it. How else did they really expect me to treat them and react after what they did to me? But I didn't understand why they seemed like they were expecting something from me. I hope it wasn't an apology they were expecting, because that was the last thing I planned to do. Jasper seemed curious, he could see how I really was feeling, probably wondering how pathetic I was.**

**I closed my eyes, letting it all drift away. Tomorrow would be better. I planned to change. To be a stronger Bella. I planned to forget the past a take the brighter future with Jacob. And with that thought I drifted asleep.**

**That whole next week I had spent at Jacob's house. He was still a little pissed at me after I had ran away. I wanted to tell him how that night the Cullen's had been ay my house and my theory that they wanted to eat me and I didn't let them kill me. I very much thought to let them put me out of my misery though. That part I would not dare tell him. And the Cullen's never did show up again. Although I still kept my eyes open the first few nights and didn't dare go outside to find out. I didn't believe they would come again though. **

**I didn't let Jacob anywhere near the house. I tried to get him to stop the pack from protecting the house so they wouldn't get to close and catch the scent. I even went outside and watered the yard and the surrounding forest I could get the hose to reach, even though it rained that night like it always did in Forks. I wasn't even sure if that would even help wash the Cullen's scent away. And who knows the wolves could have smelled the scent by now before I tried washing there scent of the yard. And maybe Jacob already knew and that was why he was still giving me the cold shoulder even though I thought he had forgiven me that night I talked to him on the phone. I was afraid to ask if he knew. But I was afraid not to ask and let him think I was hiding it.**

**I had tried flirting this week with him a few times. I kind of felt ridiculous, like the first time I tried to flirt with Jacob at the beach. But I pushed away that thought because the reason behind it was only find out that Edward was a vampire.**

**At first Jacob was surprised at me and starred at me when he realized what I was doing. I held his hand more often, stood and sat close to him at all times. Not that it wasn't like that before, we were always close together but I was just making sure there wasn't even a moment that I wasn't beside him.**

**When he started catching on to what I was doing, he pointed it out. I felt ackward, he was confronting me about my flirting?**

**We were in his garage and he had been awfully quiet and every time he started to speak he changed the conversation. I knew Jacob to well that he had something to say. But I didn't know it was that.**

"**Jake are you okay? You been acting kind of weird." I stated as he worked on his car.**

**He picked up his head, looked up at me and smiled.**

"**I've been wanting to ask you the same thing."**

**I blushed and looked away.**

**Then he finally spoke after a moment of silence.**

"**Is there something you wanted to say?" his weird behavior had been from my more friendly behavior. But I still felt like he wanted to ask something.**

**He hesitated and kept fussing with his car doing more mechanic stuff on the engine. I waited patiently.**

"**Not really." I didn't believe him. But before I could protest he spoke first. "Just been thinking, you have been acting…different lately…friendlier."**

**I looked away. He was still facing his car but if turned around I didn't want him to see my blush.**

"**We've always been close friends but you have been acting…closer." he said it like if asking a question and chuckled at himself. My blush kept deepening and I hoped he wouldn't turn anytime soon. I concentrated on calming down.**

"**Not that I don't mind." He said, blushing himself. "But…"I took advantage that his back was still turned and started rubbing my face, panicking and fanning myself so when he did turn he wouldn't see I was read as a tomato.**

**I decided to turn the tables and distract him. And had to say something since I was being really quiet which would give me away that he was right. So I pointed out his blush.**

"**Your turning red." I chuckled.**

**He put his tools down nervously. "Shut up!" He said playfully.**

**I laughed some more. Thanking God my blush had already faded.**

**He turned around to look at me. I knew he was going to continue the conversation and my blush would soon return embarrassingly. He starred at me for a moment then he turned back to his car and started again. I was thankful for that too.**

**Please Review. Grade my story from a 1-5 scale. 1 being not good. And 5 being very good, awesome, wonderful, unique, Great! 3 being okay/good**

**Let me know what you think and any corrections or things I should clear up. And things I should improve on but try to be nice please and tell me politely. Thanks for taking the time to read this and my story!**

**Sorry I hadn't updated in a whole. I had this on my computer for a long time, but I got writers block I guess and left it alone for along time. So I decided I should just post this and start writing again. This is where I had left off. Thanks to Xxheartbroken54xX who recently reviewed my story and got me thinking how I had this chapter sitting here for a while now and should just post it already and continue when I thought of how to continue with this part. I wasn't sure how to write the rest of the conversation between them. As soon as I write more I will post it as a new chapter. Thanks.**

**-Martha=p**

***DISCLAIMER- I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS. STEPHANIE MEYER OWNS THE STORY. (SHE ROCKS! =D)**


	5. Chapter 5

_**I must have been making a fool of myself all this time trying to flirt with Jacob. I had no clue how to flirt. And I have no clue how I did it the first time at the beach when I first met him. **_

_**I really wish he would drop the conversation. I wasn't sure how to put it, I wanted to try being with him, but even now before I tell him that, the few times I tried to flirt with him felt wrong. I kept hearing his voice and my own mind as well, telling me I was betraying him**_**. And all those times I pushed away the thought. **

**Now as the conversation was going to bring up my flirting attempts, the back of mind was telling me this was wrong. And Edward's voice was slowly rising and so was his anger. I could already hear his voice appearing in my thoughts. It was faint but it was growing along with the conversation.**

**I pushed it away and tried to push on the embarrassing conversation. It would lead to me and Jacob being together sooner or later. And that would keep Jacob around me more. And that would keep the depressed lonely feeling away from me. Jacob was the cure. **

"**Speak what's on your mind Jake." I spoke trying to push on the conversation and push away his voice.**

**I could hear Edward growl in my thoughts at what I was doing.**

**Now I had a second reason why I wanted to be with Jacob. Because the more I pushed at it, the more I would hear Edward's voice. I had found a second way to hear his voice. **

**And like the addict I was, I would use this to hear his voice more.**

"**Well, Bella you know how I feel. You know that 's no secret. But are you trying to flirt with me? Have you been?" Jacob spoke, awakening me from my knew revelation and discovery.**

**I rolled my eyes at Jacob's question. "Yes, I have. I thought it was obvious. But then again maybe I'm just not the best at this." I said, ending with a nervous chuckle.**

**He stared at me in bewilderment. Then I saw a big smile appear on his face. Not just any smile, the smile that once belonged to **_**my**_** Jacob.**

"**Wow." he spoke at first. "Not that I don't approve of your knew behavior Bella but, what brung on all of this?"**

"**Remember when we were talking on the phone the other day? And I said I wanted to try getting over him again?"**

"**Yeah."**

"**And I believe I also said, 'I don't want to be stupid anymore, I want to move on.'" I said looking down nervously, a blush growing in my cheeks. Edwards growl grew louder in my head.**

"**Oh." he said understanding. "I thought when this finally happened, I would be ecstatic and flirt back with you but I guess I was too surprised and angry to realize it at first."**

**I picked up my head at that.**

"**You really believed that all that time I would really chose you at the end?" Not believing he was really that determined.**

"**I believed it would take a lot f work, but yeah I believed that."**

"**Thanks for believing in me." I said with a small smile. This felt better, but yet wrong.**

"**I always didn't believe it. And that's what made me mad of course. Thinking I should just give up because it really did seem like you would always love him most at the end." he said picking up his head to look at me as he cleaned his wrench with a towel and wiped his hands clean.**

**I looked away.**

**I still did love Edward more. There was no denying that. But I wasn't about to tell Jacob that. And I slowly started to realize I couldn't hear Edward. I suddenly started to think of what I could say next to provoke him and get him speaking again. **

**Then I realized what I was doing. Now I was only wanting to be with Jacob because it made Edward speak. I was now only doing this to feed my own addiction. This was not healthy for me, I was trying to get over him and be with Jacob and now it was turning to the only reason I wanted to be with Jacob was because I could hear him in my head again.**

**Once again Jacob spoke breaking through another one of my daze's.**

"**You still love him more don't you?"**

**I didn't turn back to look at him.**

**There was long silence as he stood there looking at me.**

"**Yes" I finally said in a whisper.**

**I was afraid of what Jacob would do next. I watched him from the corner of my eye.**

"**And if he would come back," Jacob spoke at last. He voice was low, it sounded shaky and restrained. He paused mid sentence, seeming not to have it in him to ask. But he surprised me by finishing the question. Good thing I had a good answer to that, an answer I was sure of.**

"**you would run straight to him, wouldn't you?" he said lifting his eyes to me.**

**I sighed. "we would never have to worry about that, because he would never come back." I said trying hard not to let my voice break at the end.**

**He was silent. **_**They**_** were both silent. **

**I listened to see if Edward would speak again.**

**After a moment of silence, I spoke.**

"**Do you think that, maybe with time, that…I would get over him?" I turned to Jacob hopefully.**

"**Completely, I mean?"**

**I already knew the answer to this. But I wanted him to believe I could. I needed him to believe it. I knew he did though.**

"**Yeah, with time. **_**Alot**_** of time." he stretched out the word. He looked out of the door and we both watched the horizon. I wondered what he was thinking. He seemed doubtful like something upset him nut I could still see burning hope in his eye.**

"**So well try." I simply stated.**

"**Yeah, well try. That's all I've been asking Bella, to give it a chance." he said.**

"**If you believe it, I believe it." And after that we stared out at the sunset from his garage in silence.**

**I would let him try and I would try my hardest too. But I awfully doubted I would ever get over Edward. And along the way while we tried, I would try to provoke him to speak. It would be my little game. It was like now I would be getting back at him for leaving. And when I hear his voice, it was like he was really jealous. **

**When Jacob and I went to the drive in movie together. I had fun with the voice.**

**I leaned closer into Jacob. **

**We had agreed to take it slowly and act like how we were before all of this. We still held hands and sat close to each other as always. But this time it wasn't just as close friends, it meant a little more. And at times I pushed it so I could hear Edward's voice.**

**As I leaned closer into him to try to hear the voice again, Jacob put his arm around me. And then my try was rewarded. I herd Edward growl. Then I leaned in closer as if we were going to kiss.**

"_**Bella, Don't!"**_

_**What's wrong Edward? Jealous? **_**I spoke back to the voice for the first time. I smiled at his discomfort. He was so cute when he was jealous. **

**Jake saw my smile and he took it as an invitation. He smiled too.**

**Edward didn't have to be a mind reader or be here to read Jacobs mind at this moment to know what he was thinking of doing next. He growled louder then before. I didn't have to be a mind reader either to understand. I smiled again at Edward's reaction. And it encouraged Jacob more.**

"_**Stop it Bella." **_**He hissed.**

_**To bad if you don't like it, maybe you shouldn't have it left! **_**I threw in his face, screaming at him at the top of my mental lungs, letting out my anger at last at him. **

**Jacob began to lean in closer to me.**

"_**Please, Don't Bella!" **_

**I leaned in closer to Jacob as well smiling, go get more of a reaction out of Edward.**

_**If you don't like it, why don't you just come back and stop me yourself!**_

**Silence.**

**My mind had not come up with a reason for him to return. And of course his voice was a daydream in my head, that I would let go to far. Of course Edward didn't care what I did, he would never be here jealous. What did I expect my mind and imagination to do next? Conjure up a life like illusion of Edward to appear beside me and pull me out of the car, away from Jacob as an answer to my challenge.**

_**I wish**_**, then at least would have an excuse. Now Jacob had gotten the wrong idea, and was expecting us to kiss and I just wasn't ready for that. I always let my daydreams go to far. **

"**Ugh, I'm going to go get some more popcorn." I quickly said as I leaned away from him and jumped out of the car, watching his surprised expression.**

**I walked away hastily, feeling guilty. I was using him, just so I could satisfy my addiction, this wasn't right.**

_**See what you've done now! **_**I blamed imaginary Edward.**

"_**I'm not the one with the imaginary X-vampire boyfriend's voice in there head!" **_**He shot back.**

_**Oh shut up! **_**I retorted.**

"_**You know you really don't mean that. Why else would you be dating Jacob Black only to hear my voice?"**_

_**That's not true! I'm trying here! **_**I lied to us both.**

"_**Jacobs trying! Your not even trying to get over me Bella!"**_

_**How can I? When I start to try your jealous voice appears in my head!**_

"_**Yeah and your pushing at it to hear me." **_

_**What do you want from me? To try to get over you or not?**_

"_**I want what's best for you, but I don't want to lose you!"**_

_**Then why did you leave?!**_

**Tears started going down my cheeks. **

_**Your driving me insane here! Answer me!**_

**More Silence.**

**Please Review. Grade my story from a 1-5 scale. 1 being not good. And 5 being very good, awesome, wonderful, unique, Great! 3 being okay/good**

**Let me know what you think and any corrections or things I should clear up. And things I should improve on but try to be nice please and tell me politely. Thanks for taking the time to read this and my story! And remember, Reviews make me happy =)**

**- Martha =p**

***DISCLAIMER- I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS. STEPHANIE MEYER OWNS THE STORY. (SHE ROCKS! =D)**


	6. Chapter 6 Realize

The next morning as I walked to class I let my mind wonder.

I was trying to come up with a reason Edward would leave in the first place to match my daydreams. In my day dreams he was jealous of me being with Jacob and wanted me to be safe, then why would he have left?

I know it wasn't healthy for me to keep thinking about this, because it would only hurt me, but I did it anyway, I couldn't stop myself.

I knew already why he left. But in my daydreams, when I could hear his voice, made me happy.

So I'd been trying to come up with a reason why did he leave to fit in my daydreams.

My imagination worked best when I could hear his voice, so I tried making him speak.

_Edward? Are you there? _

I felt awkward and idiotic as I called for him in my thoughts as I walked to class. Thanking God the people around me had no clue how crazy I was. They knew I went insane when he left but they didn't know how far I went.

Maybe I should just give up and be with Jacob. Maybe next time I would kiss him and officially make him mine. My stomach twisted at the though. It would fell wrong.

"_Don't." _I herd him whisper faintly in the back of my mind.

_Edward _I thought with a smile. It was silent again too soon.

_Give me a good reason why you left. _I demanded.

"_Too protect you." _he finally spoke.

_Bullshit. _I responded.

"_Did you only call upon me to contradict me?"_

_I do this to satisfy my addiction of you even though I know the real reason you left was because you don't love me. I doubt you ever did…_

"_Your wrong"_

Then the bell rang, but that's not why I froze. His voice just sounded so real. But I knew this was not the truth, it was just my imagination, self fulfilling.

I began to walk to class, exiting my daze and imaginary conversation with Edward. I only had walked a few steps before he spoke on his own with out me having to provoke him too or speaking to him first.

"_I left because I love you."_

Those words made me freeze dead in my tracks again, I didn't care anymore if I was late for class or not.

"_How?" _I demanded.

"_To keep you safe." _It took him a while to speak again. He voice was slowly drifting.

I went to sit behind a building, Hiding from the teachers, I didn't care if I was ditching.

I called this improvement. I didn't even need to put myself in danger, be around Jacob or even be asleep to have a conversation with him now.

I needed to concentrate.

_Keep me safe how? _I asked.

No reply.

I stared around me frustrated I couldn't keep him talking. I spotted the cafeteria. It was across from me on my right.

I stared on to the spot underneath the cafeteria where he first asked me out. Maybe if I sat there, his prescience would feel stronger.

I pushed away the thought of how completely insane I was now, as I walked across to it.

_Keep me safe how? _I asked again as I slid down against the wall and sat down. I looked around hoping no one would pass by.

I tried keeping the memory strong in my thoughts.

"_I'm not safe Bella." _He spoke.

I began to remember all these memories I've been trying to push away but yet afraid to forget and they would enter my dreams at night.

He always used to say he wasn't safe for me. I recalled that one time I was in the hospital and I remembered he said he would leave to keep me safe.

"NO!" I yelled out loud.

The world came crashing down on me. I understood, this must be the truth! The real truth, the reason he left.

"_You left to keep me human, didn't you? To save my soul!" _I yelled out load furiously.

"_Please understand Bella, I did it for you. I wanted to keep you safe"_

_So you left me here to die? To grow old suffering with out you and die!_

"_I was always putting you in constant danger, you deserved a normal life. Alice had always seen it coming, I wasn't going to damn you into this life."_

"_Edward Anthony Mason Cullen!" _I was livid. "If I ever see you again, I am going to be furious! You did this to me so I would be safe? Yet here I am suffering _wanting _death!" I yelled out load. I didn't care if someone herd me and what they thought, I was too mad.

"I'm tired of staying away from you Bella." I remembered him saying in this spot almost a year ago.

I wasn't sure why my memory chose to remember that now.

"_The truth is I'm a good liar Bella, you know that. And the truth is I love you. You & I both know me well. I won't be able to stay away. I wasn't able to stay away from you the first time even if I tried."_

I shook my head. Unbelievable. I understood what he was saying.

"_In reality, I'm probably suffering worse then you."_

_Are you saying you will be back?_

"_Probably."_

I shook my head in shock.

_Then I'll be waiting._

Please Review. Grade my story from a 1-5 scale. 1 being not good. And 5 being very good, awesome, wonderful, unique, Great! 3 being okay/good

Let me know what you think and any corrections or things I should clear up. And things I should improve on but try to be nice please and tell me politely. Thanks for taking the time to read this and my story! And remember, Reviews make me happy =)

Sorry my other chapter wasn't very long, I don't like posting short chapters so I added on, hoping this would make up for it.

- Martha =p

***DISCLAIMER- I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS. STEPHANIE MEYER OWNS THE STORY. (SHE ROCKS! =D)**


	7. Chapter 7 Guess What?

The road curved many times, each time scaring me a little more then usual. The sheet of ice that lightly coated it wasn't the only reason for my fear. Something caught my attention, and has been on my mind distracting me from listening to the road on the way to La Push.

I saw a flash of something running through the forest. It shocked me and made me gasp. I was suspicious of what, or _who_, it was. I tried not to think about it. Or _him. _trying to keep the thought from my mind.

I still believe Edward left for a new reason now. I do still doubt I'm right though at times, I still think I must have gone completely insane. I'm still trying and giving it a chance with Jacob. But it isn't working. Not just because it feels uncomfortable. When I actually tried to kiss him again, at my house, I saw something in the window that I would rather not talk about. I'm afraid of the truth because it feels like its crashing down on me harder now then when it did when I realized it.

But things that have been happening me to lately that I pushed away in the back of my head as nothing were now hitting me hard in the face. I refused to believe it, but slowly my sureness was slipping.

Sometimes I noticed things of mine missing for a moment, then suddenly there. Sometimes objects were moved to different places. At times I felt watched. I felt a presence, at times it was strangely comforting and at times made me anxious. Like there was something very important I forgot or couldn't find nagging at me. I wasn't sure how to explain the feeling but it was screaming at me to figure it out. Whatever the feeling was, I was getting used to it, because I felt safe, happy.

Now the possibility in my mind that I refused to see as a possibility was scaring me. The scary truth of me being right. I feared to be right. I couldn't find that nagging feeling in me anymore that I was missing something important. Because my senses were telling me I finally realized it. My mind refused it.

I might not have known it but my mind knew it was true I was just trying to deny it.

Then my denial was vastly fading. I hurried down the road to La Push. I was at the brink of panic…

when something flashed across the road.

I kicked the break. Almost letting out a scream. I hardly noticed how it felt wrong, not like I hit something, like something hit the truck. Something stopped the truck.

Still trying to refuse what I saw. It was all know hitting me hard.

The memories that I had hidden and had finally gotten over, where now slowly coming back. I had finally been able to open my eyes in the morning with out having my first thought be about him. I hardly thought of it. It never stung to speak their name. There was never any tears. I had finally been able to shove it all back in my mind. Only nightmares and some good dreams that both always ended up in tears, that was the only thing that reminded me. Kept the memories fresh. Un-self consciously, that was the way I kept my terrified fear of forgetting tamed. The dreams where the only thing that held me from forgetting. And the new revalating truth that kept my hope alive or at least gave it reason for still being there.

But know I was stronger. The thoughts didn't scare me. Only the thought that _he was back. _

What did I fear of it? I did not know. `

Only that somehow the memories might begin to hurt again but I doubted that.

Or that he could be thirsty.

Somehow that didn't scare me either.

Then what was it that was scaring me?

All of this was running through my head all at once in only what was a few seconds. I finally realized my eyes were closed. Realizing that I began to open them, as I did I regretted it, fearing what I might find.

I saw to wide eyes starring back at me, standing in the middle of the road in front of my truck.

I gasped loudly and shut my eyes.

I herd a faint voice. One I had not herd in what seemed forever. What felt so familiar but so different as from a stranger. It spoke my name. I ignored all the emotions coursing through me.

_This couldn't be happening_.

I tried to calm myself. I listened hard, after I herd his voice utter my name. All I herd was silence and my heavy breathing. I could feel my heart thumbing loudly in my chest. My only thought was to get out of here and Jacob.

The word Jacob silently whispering from my lips, at the thought of him. I needed him, I needed his comfort and protection. As I reached for my phone to call him, I herd the iron door being crunched, I felt it open. I let out a terrifying scream. My eyes were squeezed shut. But I knew I had to open them to find my phone.

I ran my hand through my short cut curly hair. And uttered "Oh God." I opened my eyes and saw the door wide open. I swear I herd it being ripped from its hinges. I looked at closely, seeing what seemed like a dent in it. I closed my eyes reaching for my phone. I couldn't hold it right to open it to dial the number. When a figure appeared next to me it slipped through my fingers. I felt something cold grab me and the phone slipped through my fingers.

My shriek was cut short by something garbing me by the arm and crushing me against something, a cold hard rock. I was to much a coward to keep my eyes open. I suddenly felt like I was being thrown. I felt like I was flying. But I never landed.

I meant to cry out for help, instead of yelling Jacob I stupidly yelled Edward. What was wrong with me? Then I began to cry for Jacob. What was going on? I was scared, I tried to fight to get away.

Then suddenly I landed. I almost felt like I was going to faint. My head was spinning and I felt sick. I couldn't open my eyes, or at least I was to afraid too.


	8. Chapter 8

He was back. There was no denying my suspicions any longer. There was no denying my self conscious mind now, with his pained golden eyes on mine. I tried convincing myself the cold hands that stole me were Victoria's. But they couldn't be Victoria's. She was dead. It was so hard for me to believe he was back, even with proof of the very same and very familiar eyes staring right back at me. I had happened to catch a glimpse of them. They were the same golden eyes I had seen in the middle of the road that made me hit the break and almost swarm.

I had finally opened my eye's to face the truth, only to see his. He only stared at me for what lasted a moment. I had looked away for the slightest moment from his, cautious of my surroundings, I looked around me. I only got the shyest glimpse of the sitting still forest around me before once again I was moving through it. I only presumed he had grabbed again and begun to run once again. But I was mistaken. These fast moments were so blurry they were confusing, I didn't know what to expect of him.

For a while I knew the real reason he left. To protect me. And I still sometimes contemplated if that could really be true. But either way I excepted it because it got me through the day. I kind of expected him to come back as his voice in my head said. Will, not really said but implied. And so everyday was a normal one spent with Jacob most of the time. I was never bothered much by the fact that he was gone because at the back of my mind I was expecting him to come back at anytime and I guess I was just waiting patiently, putting all the past painful hurt in the backest corners of my mind. In the past, where it belong.

Now he was back. And the next thing I knew I was laying in the wet dewed forest ground. He had pushed me back laying down from my sitting position. It took me a second for my eyes to focus from the fast blurry second. I felt his cold figure take a stance over me. I gasped taking in a cold shagged breath startled. His face was now very close just barely hanging over mine.

I knew his reflexes were fast but why was it taking my mind so much time to keep up.

He almost smiled, it was in his eyes but it hadn't reached his lips just yet. Then he pulled me in tighter. I was wondering what he was planning to do next, barely noticing his cold arms had taken me again and running. Before I could even figure it all out we were already standing in his living room. He had already let go and was standing a few feet away across from me.

I almost fell to my feet, I felt a bit week after the run and I steadied myself very still before they all could move to assist me, in the silent room that had all its furniture back.

My eyes never left his still figure.

Then I broke.

I anxiously looked beside me at the sofa. I grabbed the first thing I could see or reach. It just happened to be a pillow. Then I started beating the smack out of him. Will,…if he was human, I would have been.

"What the hell?! You idiot!"

His eyes grew wide. He looked like he went into shock. I smacked him hard over and over with all my might. I knew it didn't hurt him but it got my anger out. And made all that much madder that it really didn't hurt him and at the same time happy that he could never be hurt.

I herd a giggle in the back ground that I could only recognize as Emmet's. Then I herd another one join him then Emmett burst out laughing.

Edward tried to raise his hands up to protect him or to stop me, I wasn't sure which one, but then he paused and sighed and stood there and let me take out my frustration.

His eyes only board into mine and I knew that I was going to give up any minute.

All I could hear was Emmett's booming laughter and I wasn't sure if I herd a few giggles along with his. It was hard to hear my panting as I grew tired. Emmett's laugh was beginning to get annoying and I felt awkward as Edward still stared at me doing nothing to stop me as a hundred different emotions past his face.

"Oh, shut up Emmett!" I yelled. He paused for the slightest second to let me talk and started all over again. I had already slowed down and pretty much stopped smacking Edward with a pillow. I had already realized how silly it was but I didn't care if it was embarrassing, I was to mad.

I only smacked him every now and then when I felt the little fits of anger coming back. Which was every other word and every other second.

"I'm sorry Bella! Let me explain…the real reason why I left…"

"I already know! You did it to keep me safe! Ugh!" I said with disgust and my voice was still angry as I smacked him again.

His face went blank.

"You knew?!"

"Yes! I'm not an idiot!!"

He was silent.

My voice was coated with annoyance and I let the pillow drop to my side but I was still holding on to it. I felt a little bit of embarrassment that I had only barely really figured it out.

"When?" he asked eyeing his family members suspiciously but his face was still blank.

"Two months ago!" I yelled as I smacked him one more time.

"Then why are you mad?" He asked bewildered looking back up at me.

I could feel the red hot anger come back into me. It must have been on my face because Edward cringed a little awaiting another pillow fit coming at him.

Why wouldn't I be mad? Like I had nothing else to be mad about? The awful memories sipped in. I twitched as they came and reappeared in my mind but it was hardly noticeable as I smacked Edward again after a second passed that he thought I wasn't going to start smacking him again.

"Are you crazy?" Did I really want him to answer that? No. but it looked like he was debating to and felt the tension in his family standing around us wanting to say something but they wee all to scared to, I guess. I saw Emmet's lips twitching, at any moment for him to say _yes_ or _look who's talking_.

"Yeah, probably. But you really think that kept me safe with my luck?? For crying out loud it was worthless and it only brought me pain! Not safety! That's impossible for me, I've figured out."

"Yeah, it didn't take you long to find werewolves did it?" He hissed.

I fell silent in shock. Now he was mad at me for being friends with them?

I remembered that one time, when my suspicions started that Edward was back, when I was alone with Jacob in my room and we almost kissed. He leaned in closer but I was only using him to hear Edward's voice. But instead of hearing Edward, I swore I thought I saw him. It took me a while for myself to believe that it wasn't really him. But I was ecstatic, I had reached a new level. Now I could see him too instead of just hearing him. It made me want to try to kiss Jacob just so I could see him again. But one thing that that haunted me was the look on Edward's face. It wasn't peaceful, it was hurt and shocked. Was that how I wanted him to imagine him? Jealous that I had moved on? Will now here he was and he seemed jealous now. And at what price should I do this? I was only hurting Jacob. Just toying with his emotions so I could hear, and now see Edward. So after the second time I tried and it didn't working and it stopped working, I gave up. I didn't want to hurt Jacob anymore just to feed my bizarre obsession. Jacob was put of with me but he excepted it and I knew he still believed that I wanted him and we would end up together at the end. I very much doubted that. Especially now that Edward was back.

"Tell me, was that really you I saw a while ago outside my window when I was with Jacob?"

He grimaced, sadness passed his eyes at his memory as he quickly looked down from my eyes. A moment passed till he spoke again and I noticed his fist had clenched like the first day I met him.

"…Yes."

"And you spied on me too!" I started smacking him all over again.

I wasn't really mad that he spied on me but that he didn't immediately come back to me. But then again, that might have been my fault since I did set the impression on his family that I didn't want him back or any of them.

Everything that happened started crashing down on me since the first day he left. I started sobbing and realized I should jus be happy he was back. I left the pillow dangle from my hand beside me as I stared at him with blurry tear filled eyes. He stared at me painfully. I let go of the pillow finally and ran to him, I threw my hands around his waist and he took me happily.

_I'm back!=D_

_Ugh! Hate authors notes. So ill cut this short. I hate excuses=(_

_Very sorry! I haven't updated in the longest time! Been busy and I felt like I wasn't sure how to continue since it been a long time I worked on my stories! But since im of from school, I have plenty of time Please Review! Just press that pretty green little button down there! The more reviews the more I want to write and the faster you get a new chapter!_

_Let me know what you think and any corrections or things I should clear up. And things I should improve on but try to be nice please and tell me politely. Thanks for taking the time to read this and my story!_

_Grade my story from 1-5. 1 being boring, 3 ok/good, 5 great and unique._

***DISCLAIMER- I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS. STEPHANIE MEYER OWNS THE STORY. (SHE ROCKS! =D)**


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